I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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