so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
