omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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