They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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