I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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