I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize