Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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