I can't watch pbs sober anymore
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
