More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Buhtt sex?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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