I hate all girls vehemently.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
