Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
