yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
