everyone is single if you try hard enough
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
