he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
