Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
