i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
