I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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