Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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