He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
