you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
