Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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