I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
