there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize