maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
