At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
