so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
and i looked up. we had an audience...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
