I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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