goodnight i made you a song goodbye
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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