I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
