Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
