I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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