sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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