my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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