I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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