dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
