are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I AM VODKA MAN
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
