oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
