I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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