Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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