Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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