you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
