Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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