This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
