My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
then he tried to convert me to islam
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
