Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Soap is not a condiment
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
