i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
