escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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