i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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