Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
