What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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