I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize