So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
