my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
