I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
