No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
