that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
