I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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